When Titans Clash

WHEN TITANS CLASH part three

At length the four active E-Vengers gather at the home of Dr. Vaughn (it being larger and more accomodating than his office), eating Thai takeout and drinking ale, mead, various soft drinks, and the lone can of Fresca in honor of their missing comrade, Rick Jones... They begin to make plans, and discuss options for obtaining the third stone from Fin FanFoom in Hong Kong.

"The first thing to discuss is whether we want to try and get this thing peacefully?" begins the Black Knight. "There's a first time for everything, after all. Maybe Zemo just didn't make him an offer he liked? On the other hand we would pretty much lose any hope of surprise by announcing our intentions so clearly. So I suggest we do the classic out-flanking maneuver. Thor and I will make a frontal assault while Hellcat and Herbie sneak in amidst the chaos we are so good at generating and get the stone. Herbie and Hellcat between them should be able to handle any magical or mechanical traps, and their physical weakness shouldn't be a problem with all the guards fighting Thor and meself. So, how does all that sound?

"Hmmmmm," Herbie ponders. "Tactically, a sound plan. Strangely, I find myself agreeing with the Knight."

"Sounds fine to me," answers the Hellcat. "If we're gonna approach this bloke directly, it'll be best if we're disguised while doin' it since we're already in hot water publicly. Herbie's got a gadget that'll disguise you two an' I'll pack an illusory spell to get us through the front door. If that doesn't work, we'll go to plan B and steal the damned thing."

"Hmm, yes," Herbie agrees. "But perhaps a two-flanked approach allows for more coverage? Thor and the Knight through the front door, and Ms. Cat and I through the back?"

"OK, we'll give Finny a chance to come over with the Stone before we take it from him," grumbles the sable swordsman. "When we get over there we should have a conversation with him. Call him on the telephone or something."

"I'd rather do this in person. Realistically, he isn't gonna give up the stone. It's not like we have anything to give him fer it. But it'll at least get us a look inside his place," comments Patsy.

"If he doesn't agree to hand it over then we'll go in there and take it..." begins Garrett.

"Pardon me, but did not the Baron of Zemo try a similar tactic?" interrupts the super simian. But Herbie's voice trails off as the Black Knight, worked into a fevered pitch of pre-battle planning, rambles on excitedly as he paces the floor. "This chap's a big Fu Manchu sort of crime lord, we may have our work cut out for us storming his fortress and all that. We have to assume we'll be outnumbered and maybe even outgunned. If we had the whole team we could just waltz in there and take it but we're short manpower." Herbie looks around. He is about to point out that surely there is just the same amount of heroes as his first hero team, the Fantastics, but the Knight most likely would figure that irrevelant.

"If we have to get violent then it's important Herbie and Hellcat not waste any time checking out the drapes or raiding the fridge for bananas cause there's no telling how long Thor and I can hold out against the guards" continues the Black Knight.

"BANANAS?!" Herbie huffs.

"You get the stone, you get out. We can't afford to lose any manpower to get this stone not even such like as you all..." intones the Black Knight. "I'm tetched, really. You just make sure ye get yer own arses outta there. Once Herbie an' I have gotten the stone, I dinna want to waste precious time pullin' yer fat outta the fire" interrupts Hellcat.

"...and still don't know how fairly these Titans are going to play. Ok, let's go get this rock from this yellow peril and be done with it!" finishes the Arthurian blade-artist.

"Be that as it may, you must not brook any hestiation on Fanfoom's part!" comments Herbie. "I say confront him as politely as you feel you must, but as you say, time is of the essence! We dare not allow him any time to tip his hand, as villains are wont to do given any opening!"

"I've checked around on FanFoom. Interpol has some interest in him" informs Patsy. "Apparently, he has some association with the Hong Kong terrorist outfit MANTIS (Mutant Assination, Negation, Terrorism & Insurgency Society), so if we get inna fight you can bet there'll be lots of opposition an' they'll be heavily-armed. Prob'ly not standard issue, either p probably needler pistols, chamber-plasma blasters, or other evil little weapons. We already know his security's top drawer, so be ready fer anything. It'll take me some time to prep the teleport spell. Herbie, can ye rig up something to knock out electrical power if need be?"

"I'll see what I can whip up" comments Herbie.

While the Black Knight and Thor continue to drain the supply of libations and polish of the remainder of the Thai food, Dr. Vaughn tries to engage Thor in conversation. "You know, we could use you here at the University" begins Wendell. "Our Norse Studies area is severely lacking, and you are the best possible expert we could hope to find. For example, were the Norse gods isolated examples, or do many of the older gods of the various pantheons actually exist? We've -- the academic community, that is -- have long believed, for example, that the Celtic Tarantis was adopted from the Roman Jupiter or the Germanic Donar, which in turn was thought to be another name for you. Are you also Donar and Tarantis, or are there other beings of extraordinary supernatural might?" Vaughn goes on to say how he is pretty sure that after Thor resolves the current Nazi controversy, that his university would love to have Thor join the department of Mythology and Folklore. However, before Thor can answer, the telephone rings.

Dr. Vaughn answers the telephone. "Hello, Wendell Vaughn here."

"Yes, I am familiar with the reports in the newspapers. Yes, I am occassionally in contact with them. Yes, I'd be happy to meet you for coffee to discuss how I might help; shall we say in an hour, at Chock-O-Java near the University? Excellent! I look forward to it, sir."

"That was a fellow from the U.S. Marshall's office, wanting to talk to me about Thor, Black Knight, and Zemo. I've made arrangements to meet him for coffee - I'll find out what he wants, and maybe find out more. Is there anything in particular you want me to leak to them? Anything about the press conference later?"

Meanwhile, Hellcat finishes laying down the rune circle for the teleport.

"Alright, then. I've cobbled a little something up I think may be of a little use to us," Patsy states, retrieving one of the runes from her pouch. She taps the rune once and brings it to her forehead, her eyes sparkling with eldritch energy as she does so.

"This little beauty develops a low-level mind-link between us. It's sublime enough that the other folks will only hear what ye 'send' out, so to speak. I can't read yer thoughts which is as much a relief to me as it is to the rest of ye, I'm sure."

She taps the rune lightly to Thor's forehead, her eyes suddenly widening with the received vision of a statuesque blonde wielding a sword. "Whoa..." she pauses, "of course it only works if ye've got proper control o' yer thoughts," she smirks at Thor. "Who's the looker, shorty? Ye've got a flame ye haven't told us about?". Thor's bloodshot eyes widen; he had been remembering his wife, the goddess Sif, who was beautiful beyond the understanding of mortals. "Just remembering someone I knew" Thor mumbles, the emotional strain of remembrance obvious in his voice.

"Here ye go, fuzzy." She taps Herbie on the forehead. "Try to keep 'em civil, eh?" She smiles, flashing a wink at him.

Patsy hesitates before approaching the Black Knight. "Alright tinpot, are ye up fer this or not? I'm not even sure the spell will work through that helmet o' yours."

"I don't think it would work through my armor - and your mind might not survive if it did" comments the Black Knight. "Thor and I stick close enough that your link with him should suit well enough."

"Now, one o' the reasons I have to meet this FanFoom character in person is that we don't know where in his bleedin' mansion the stone is. I can probe his mind, but I gotta be around him to do it. Once we've got the location of the stone (and provided o' course that FanFoom isn't willin' to hand it over to us outright) I'll send you blokes the signal to start raising hell.

Patsy leads them to the room in Wendel's basement in which she has made her preparations. They gather within the circle, and Patsy mumbles arcanely in a low voice. One cheap-ass Startrek transport effect later, they find themselves stepping out of the shadows and into a Hong Kong alleyway. The smells of friend grease, excrement, and decaying meat.

"Och, jaysis! I'm almost wishin' we landed over the ocean now" comments Patsy as their predicament dawns on her.

The street in front of you is crowded with asian men and women running to and fro about their business. There is a great deal of hubbub, but all in Cantonese.

Thor holds his goats close - too many of the people are giving them the "hungry" eye.

Patsy turns to BK and Thor.

"Alright, you two gents" begins Hellcat sarcastically, "take Herbie's gadget and make yourselves non-conspicuous. Don't talk to nobody if ye can avoid it."

Patsy pulls a rune, concentrates for a moment and a shimmering halo surrounds Herbie and herself, altering their appearance to that of a well-dressed American man and woman.

"Now let's go see what all the fuss is about."

Thor activates the gadget and finds himself an angelic looking little red headed boy, wearing boots and a cowboy hat, riding a stick horse and being followed by two puppies.

BK activates his illusion generator and is transformed into an officer of the British Empire in full dress uniform with big fuzzy mustache and the ebony blade is transformed into a jaffa stick.

Herbie grumbles-- "Perhaps my hearing needs must be checked. I believed I heard Hellcat recommend unobtrusivity."

The crowds of ethnic Chinese spend little attention and no time on their transformations; its as if they dont care about anything which might divert them from their own pathways. Hellcat and Herbie lead Little Cowboy Thor and his friend, the chronologically mistplaced doppleganger of Phineas Fogg several blocks before Hellcat realizes that she doesn't really know where she's going - she has a street address of the FanFoom headquarters, but no idea of which direction to go, and the maze-like streets of Hong Kong are of little assistance.

Thor reaches into his deep trenchcoat pocket and fumbles around for a moment. Then he pulls out the Norn Stone and clasps it in the upturned palm of his hand. He closes his eyes and concentrates.

"Vere is your sister liddle stone? Vere is she hiding?"

And Thor concentrates EVEN more!

The stone glows when you follow the right path, and although the rickshaw driver goes nuts trying to follow a 'straight' line through HK, it isn't long before you all find yourselves across the street from a large, modern office building, the home of the Fan Foom Mercantile House.

"So Knight -- dis muss be da place!" comments Thor as he and his goats disembark the rickety rickshaw.

"By jove I do believe you are correct!" answers the Black Knight. "Jolly good show old boy, jolly good!"

Hellcat and Herbie disembark the second rickshaw, and all four of them stand on the sidewalk across the street.

With a determined look in his eye and firm purpose to his walk, Thor continues following the stone's glow (Right up to the dang stone itself if he isn't halted... but he is halted as Hellcat takes his arm annd whispers "Stay put! We're more likely to get the stone and save Wendell's daughter, by asking for it. We'll only fight for it as a last resort. Stick to the plan!"

Thor frowns, but stops. No harm must come to the girl.

Through the front door of the building comes a stunningly beautiful woman of asian descent. She stops in front of Hellcat and Thor, briefly eyeing the Black Knight and Herbie. "Good afternoon, we have been expecting your arrival. Mr. FanFoom will see you directly. Please, come with me."

Hellcat turns, to tell the disguised Black Knight and Thor to wait outside, but is interrupted. "Please, Mr. FanFoom wishes to see all of you. Please, come with me."

The red-headed stepchild illusion which covers Thor gives Hellcat what can only be described as "a snotty little kid face".

The fearsome foursome turn and follow the lady through several public areas and into a rather large elevator. While following along meekly, avoiding bric-a-brac and such to avoide giving away his illusionary disguise, he notes several recessed sensor pads - infrared, sonic, the whole works. He also notes several places which have panels which slide away - weapon deployment spots? This building seems well-prepared for defense.

The elevator ride is uneventful, but swift. It stops on the 33rd floor, and the doors open, revealing a long hallway. The lady guides you past several more "aides" on station, and through a large pair of double doors at the end, into the offices of Finley FanFoom. It is a large office, well-appointed, lots of gleaming wood and steel. A man rises from behind the desk, approximately six feet tall but slender. Long black hair fans his shoulders, and he sports a Fu Manchu-style mustache, but he is quite obviously caucasian.

"Welcome to my offices. I am Finley FanFoom, and you may drop your illusions - I understand you to be the 'second team', following up after His Excellency, the Baron Zemo?" He comes out from around his desk, looking at Patsy. "Indeed, the Baron was very conservative - he mentioned that you were beautiful, but he did not mention that you possess a beauty which would have Venus hiding her head in shame..."

"He did, now? Are ye sure we're talkin' about the same Baron Zemo?" caustically retorted Hellcat.

"Perhaps I am taking certain liberties in paraphrasing, but essentially correct" responds Finley, obviously in a good humor.

Patsy, Herbie, and Thor drop their illusions, while the Black Knight stays firmly ensconced in his. FanFoom's eyes narrow at what he percieves as a discourtesy, but he says nothing - but his eyes widen in surprise as they sweep over the Mighty Midget.

"Listen, Mr. FanFoom, I'm not exactly sure what Zemo told ye, but we're in a predicament," begins Patsy. "A little girl's life is at stake, and we need the Norn stone that ye have in your possession. Can ye help us?"

"Ordinarily, what you ask would be quite impossible. However, I find that I may soon need a boon from Thor Odinson. I will give you the stone, if I may have Thor's hammer-sworn oath that he will accomplish a task for me - a task that I shall not name at this time, but which will not require him doing anything dishonorable. Or dressing up in womens clothes..."

Reaching into his vest pocket, he produces the very Norn Stone you have been seeking!

"Of all the artifacts and historical objects I've managed to hoard over the years, this is by far my most precious - taken from the lifeless body of one of the few jotuns to have survived the fires of Ragnarok as I emerged from the darkness of the roots of Yggdrasil. For behold!" he says, waving his hands. Slowly, FanFoom's form begins to shift, growing, enlarging, becoming reptillian, until what may only be called a slate-grey dragon coils before you. "It is I, Thunderer! Nidhogg, freed from my task of chewing the roots of the Life-Tree when Loki burst it apart with his powers of Nuclear Fire!"

"Dressing up in women's -- you Asgardians are a randy bunch" mutters Patsy under her breath.

Reaching into his vest pocket, he produces the very Norn Stone you have been seeking!

"By jove, but this is going much more smoothly than I expected, what!" comments the Black Knight.

Thor's eyes begin to roll in dread, feeling with that one utterance, the Black Knight has doomed them all.

Thor's jaw drops. His mind whirls with the overload of information. Why was he standing in front of Nidhogg? Why did everything work out to make each nightmarish element of his existence even worse and even more confusing. Thor craves a drink. He wished he hadn't made that vow of abstinence.

Now he was being asked to make another vow. An unbreakable one. A vow to the chewer of the roots of reality. And yet a young girl's life was at stake here ... but what would he be asked to do? What would he be entering into?

No matter his way is as clear as the crystalline lakes of Breidablik. The girl's salvation was his quest and that salvation is at hand. He takes a step forward

"Boy, what a business this is!" Patsy thinks. "Can't take two steps without runnin' into a dragon or werewolf!"

"So you two know each other, I take it?" interrupts the Hellcat, give Thor pause. "Well, how's that for a bit of luck! Time is of the essence, so Thor, why don'tcha go ahead and perform this boon for yer friend here so we can get the stone and get a move on. Ye'll have plenty of time to catch up later, I'm sure. My thanks, Mr. Needhog. This task won't take a lot of time, I hope?"

"By jove, a dragon, whaaaa..." screeches the Black Knight, as he draws the Ebony Blade from its scabbard, shattering the illusion into a thousand shards of dissolving light. The Black Knight leaps to impose himself between the beast and his comrades, his sword held out before him. "Surely we have been fools to traipse so blithely into a wyrm's lair! But think again, serpent, if you would dine uponst my companions first you must face the Black Knight, who has in ages past sent many of your kin to their graves!"

The knight's obvious desire is to leap into the fray against the creature, but he rememebers the young damsel they must save and maintains his defensive posture...

Thor gives the Knight a sad almost ashamed look, then looks sternly at Nidhogg. "Stay your hand brave Knight. There will be no bloodshed this day." Thor drags his hammer around in front of him and places his hand ceremoniously upon it. "I so swear my oath 'pon Mjolnir that my word be as true and unbreakable as my hammer that I shall grant thy boon, not named at this time, in return for the stone, provided I am not asked to perform acts dishonorable or cowardly."

Thor reaches out his hand for the stone...

Niddhog's form swirls with mist, until he has assumed the form of Fin FanFoom. He stares distastefully at the Black Knight. "Such impulsive agression towards my kind is why I left the West to live in the Orient" declares the shapeshifter. "All it takes is some nut with a 'shimering scimitar' with a St. George complex, and all of a sudden its lynch-the-dragon season". He shakes his head in disgust, and turns his attention once more to Thor. "I accept your oath, Thunderer - long has the Honor of Thor been as constant as the Beauty of Freya or the Speed of Sleipner."

He drops the Norn Stone in Thor's outstretched hand.

"I would invite you all to dine with me, but I fear that we've tried the patience of my security staff enough; they were most irate about my insistence on speaking with you all privately, fears that I am sure the Black Knight has done nothing to assuage. Kwannon shall see you to the door, and I will have my town car take you to the Crowne Plaza Hotel, where I have taken the liberty of engaging rooms for you." A cloud of misty tendrils slowly wind about his huamn form, and his final "Good night" echos in the chamber.

Finley FanFoom was as good as his word, and when the Avengers exited their vehicle at the Crown Plaza Hotel they found valets already waiting for them. Shown to their rooms, the Hellcat immediately began the preparations for the ritual which would return them to the basement of Wendell Vaughn. As she made her preparations, Herbie stood quietly within the circle while Thor and the Black Knight spoke of their impending departure.

"Aye indeed, for 'tis one thing to drink and make revel with purses heavy from the weight of dragon horde most nobly won in battle," began the Black Knight, "and another to charge to one's account. Let us away to New York City, and perhaps in the future we shall have opportunity to deal again with this dragon that walks among men in a way more appropriate for his demon-spawned kind!"

Thor bows his head slightly. "I am sorry, Knight to have cheated you of your battle royale with your ancient foe, the dragon. But saving the girl was our charge and this was the most expedient manner in which to do so. Odin save my soul."

"Nay, friend Thor, it is I who am sorry. I regret that you were called upon to swear an oath to such a beast. 'Twas a truly noble act of self sacrifice. By the grace of God may it never come due! I shall have to content myself with the smiting of titans instead of the slaying of dragons! For the nonce..."

And with that Hellcat completed her chant. Within seconds the suite of the Crown Plaza stood empty, the faint glowing on the hastily-incribed teleportation circle slowly fading away like the remnants of a sunset over the seas.

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